Livskvida (Lay of LIV)

… until she met me.

The world of fire. Temperature was always warm, burning, the grounds hissing. I was born alone, as I have been many times, I have to assume. If I would be able to remember, many thing would be easier.

My early years are a blur, but there was someone who took care of me frequently, until they stopped showing up. I was barely a teenager then, the presence of a parental figure was clearly no longer needed, and I set out to see what my purpose on this world was, as I later learnt, I must’ve many times before. When I would walk around the town, away from my lava-riverside house, my neighbors, and other citizens who clearly recognized me, would look at me, look up and down, sometimes with surprise, sometimes a look I couldn’t recognize.

hey knew me, clearly, before. I didn’t know them anymore, so I tried to ask them for my name, for how we knew each other, but they always refused me to tell. One woman, made out of fire and boulders, told me I could choose a name for myself, that it would be better if I did.

I wondered about that, for few days. I hadn’t been thinking of myself as someone with a name, as strange as that might sound. I always just thought of myself as me, not as someone others see and interact. I missed whoever took care of me, even though I did not know who they were. Could I miss someone I didn’t know?

I decided to walk around, and listen to other people refer to their relatives, friends, others in their communities. During these months of tending for myself, hunting for food when I could, which came rather naturally to me, I felt like I’ve known this before, like I’ve learnt it before, but I could not remember.

One day, I found a note, that I could not read, with a picture of me when I was younger. There were three letters under the crude drawing, a dot between them. I asked my neighbors to tell me what it means, everyone refusing. Until one kid, who must have recently learned how to read, told me it said L-I-V. I liked that.

It could work. A nickname, perhaps? I looked at the young child who ran away, and went out to hunt for food. I was not hungry often, and I did not need to hunt often, but I was learning to enjoy it, to run and spread my wings, to feel the hot air in my fiery hair, to hear the hiss of standing in the lava rivers.

One day, I started telling the sellers at the marketplace, and other neighbors I met, that they should call me L-I-V. Their faces showed worry and perhaps a little pity, but ultimately a smile and understanding. I breathed in, and said again, “Actually, Liv would be better.”

At age of fifteen, I finally got my name. They agreed, and despite keeping secrets from me, on orders of someone they would not tell me about, they were starting to act nicer, and show me more mercies daily. An innkeeper that lived near me, an older dragonborn lady told me, “May the Goddess bless your name, child.” as I was passing by, and I thanked her, and bowed, then quickly moved forward because I did not know what ‘the Goddess’ is.

“West.”

I had a hunch one morning, when I left my house, on my usual way around the town, I realized that I have never been to the northern side, behind the wall. There was no penalty for crossing the wall, it was there to protect from raiders and skirmishers, I’ve been told. Our part of the town was protected by the river and fences on the side, and theirs had big wall that separated us. I walked in, and wandered the streets, until I ended at a building. Tall, painted dark blue building loomed over me. The doors were closed, but upon trying, I found out I could open them. I peered inside, and dark tall room lit by… ice? Fire that seemed to envelop ice was all I could see inside. I was so fascinated by the image, I did not realize someone was standing by me, and they pulled the door to open completely, and I fell in.

“Are you lost, child?”

“I’m no child.” I quickly stood up, fixing my clothes. I felt a primal urge of anger at the statement, but I quickly tried to calm down. “And yes, I suppose. I’ve never been here.”

“I can see that.” the dark blue skinned man with horns standing stall above me remarked in a quite hostile tone, so I stepped away and looked around. Half of his face was different color, his eye closed off halfway, his skin burnt and blemished. He carried himself with grace nevertheless. He did not seem like he would throw me out, that I was trespassing or anything.

“So, what is it?” I pointed at the ice.

“A blessing, is what it is. Have you fallen out of the sky?” he said with a condescending tone, as he started walking forward, “Did your parents not teach you of the Flame that keeps this world hot?”

“This?” I pointed at it again.

“No.” he sighed. “This is but a small fraction of it, many churches and temples have one. A proof, we like to call it.”

“Proof of what?” I walked around, mesmerized by the light. “And you are?”

“I’m a priest of the Church of the AllGoddess. And you are very uneducated.”

“Happens, when you have no parents.”

He studied me for a while, and sighed again. “It is the proof of the coldest heart surviving in our fiery world. After the Goddess changed the fate of our universe, she left, unseen and unheard of by anyone. Many of our neighbors say she fled to their homes, because their climate and skies changed, or something in that vein, but we – we have a proof. They laughed, as they attempted to take our sacred land before, that the Goddess of ice and storms would be in here, the boiling world of fire, but we always knew, it was the perfect place to hide. The balance between the fire and ice, it’s what proves we have been chosen by her.”

I listened, fire awakening within me as I thought of this Goddess, and her journey here. The Goddess of Ice, she was. Here, in the fires of the worlds. “The neighbors? Mine seem nice.”

“It means the other realms, foolish child.”

“Oh, I see. What does she look like?”

“Well, we can’t know what exactly she would look like at this moment, in these ages, but there is a widely recognized depiction of her.” He pointed at the painting behind the ice, and I had to walk around to see it.

“Oh, she is – was beautiful.” I uttered quietly as I saw her. “Does she not have a name?”

“She does. It is not proper to speak it. It is written under her portrait, if you flip this part.” he pointed at a metal sheet, where I saw her name. I couldn’t read, at the time, but I could read this one thing, as if I was allowed. I nodded nervously, and I thanked him for letting me stay, and left. I felt uneasy, as if I’ve done something wrong, or something wrong has happened. I rushed home, not able to focus on whether I was running or walking, until I reached it. I had memories I could not remember, I had feelings I could not place, and I had sensations I could not feel.

I spent a week without leaving the house, as I watched my hands turn fiery bright, and extend meters longer, until the feathers made out of fire appeared across the entire length. I always assumed this was something people simply could do, but I was starting to think I might be unique in a way. I climbed on top of my small house, and tried to spread my wings fully. They were wider than my house, and for first time, it felt like the rest of my body was changing too. The yellow feathers set on fire, and I felt the fire around my head spread. The neighbors watched me in awe, but no fear.

I heard my body make a screeching sound, as I tried to shout ‘Why?’ at them. I flew into the sky, and in rage, I tried to shout again. Fire came out, and fire enveloped the roofs of the buildings. I shouted, shouted as loud as I could, until I could not see anymore.

I flew across the lake, the ocean that poured onto our land and formed a separation between the sides of the land. I flew towards a tower, I saw it stand out like a sign. It felt like I chose this direction, like I planned to reach it. The tower was on top of a hot sand mountain, and when I landed, the doors opened as soon as I put my hands on them. As if they knew me.

Another thing that acts as if I should remember it. When I stepped inside, I saw a living space. Doors that lead to a room with multiple beds, raw and ugly, then another door that lead to big room with one bed. Door that lead to a kitchen and in the middle of the main room, stairs that lead up. On the second floor, there was mess of papers, scrolls, books, tomes, diaries, and leather-bound notebooks. Some loose papers were bolted to the walls and furniture. In the confusion, and my labored breaths, I realized I turned back into the human form, fully. I walked up the stairs, to the highest floor. A bedroom with bed fit for two of me, tables and cabinets with many, many more papers, full of scribbles and words I could not read. Most of these had pictures on them, either landscapes, or people, or – something that looked like… Me. Almost, not really me, but like me. She was older, and she had different hair. It was short, and the flames enveloped her entire head. I ran my hands through my fiery mohawk that stretched all the way to my shoulders.

There was a big room with stones that had carved letters into them. They seemed to not be working, and there were many angry and loose notes around them. I was not able to figure out what the owner needed me to know yet, but I would later. There was another door, this one lead to a small room full of bags and boxes, and a small hatch at the roof. I stretched, and then my legs, my arms, and my body stretched, until I was tall enough to open it, and crawl through the hole up.

The top of the tower under the roof was open space, railing all around, and one chair with an empty canvas under it.

There was no point in me being up there. I climbed back down, and sat on the bed. It seemed comfortable, if not old, though not as old as the tower itself. It must’ve been replaced a few times if it was always there. Or it was a more recent upgrade.

I laid down and took one of the paintings from the wall. In this one, the person who had my face, had long red braids that got lighter the further from the head they were. She had a beak, and she was drawn with her wings. Another one had long red hair, always burning at the bottom. She seemed to have no hands, only wings. Each of them looked different, sometimes I barely recognized my face on them, but assuming from the rest, it must’ve been the same kind of painting. Some of them seemed older, some done only in charcoal, the paper older and older, until the very last one I found, was on a wooden tablet. The ink had almost faded, and she looked like me a bit too much.

I counted more than fifty of them, until that one. I started putting them up on the wall, in correct order as much as I could assume and figure, and I kept thinking. Were they my family? Do I come from a long line of women, always living alone? How could they have children then? None of them are shown with their families. None of them are shown with each other either. I stopped putting them up near the end, to keep my thoughts, and went down in attempt to find more pictures of them.

The person keeping track of them was not interested in them outside of the portraits, it seems, because I could not find any other pictures of them. I looked at the papers, filled with words and some small drawings. I could not read. Except that one time earlier – I could read the Goddess’ name. I felt as if something possessed my body, and I knew what it said, even though the priest was too scared to tell me.

I sighed, and went to sleep on the third floor. Maybe they would come home tomorrow? Or later at night and I could ask? I could only hope.

I woke up to an empty tower. I waited few more days, going on one hunt in forest further away, flying there, honing my transformation skills. After a while, I decided I would not go back to the town I was born. The house could rot and fall apart for all I could care, and though people were nice to me, it always felt like they were just performing it. The tower had a pretty nice view, and I could see a settlement near. It was near a mountain, and it seemed fractured into multiple parts.

The next day, after a successful hunt, I flew to the unknown settlement, its closest part to the tower, and sought out a church. It had a different, smaller icicle in the hall, on fire too. I asked the priest if he would know where I could learn to read, to understand the good word of our Goddess better.

He laughed, saying there was no ‘good word of the Goddess’, but that he would teach me if I desired. I agreed, and the next day, I woke up early to start the studies. It took few years to learn how to read fluently, no longer needing the help of the priest, whose name was Elis. I started cracking down the documents at the tower way earlier, reading through unfortunately, quite boring stuff about stars and the area around. The person describing the area must’ve had quite the imagination, to describe the coal forests, big lakes, rivers of boiling water, cities way closer, and even castles near here that I cannot see no matter how much I stretch, or even fly higher than the top floor. The descriptions of the tower were quite generous too, for my experience with it. They called it Home though, and yet I in all these years, I hadn’t met the owner.

I was not really sure if I wanted to, after all, keeping all the paintings of my family up there. For a few moments, I thought about what kind of stalker had lived there, and then quickly put the thoughts away, realizing it is me who now lived there, a tower I found and entered without checking.

I read through many books describing the area around the tower, the cities not standing, but also some about the stars, the stars I could barely see. The dark clouds over the city, and quite safe to assume the entire realm, for it was quite small, always blocked the stars, as far as I can remember. Some nights, the skies are clear, but I never before thought to use the rare opportunity to look up. It hasn’t rained, I realized, it hasn’t rained ever. As long as I’ve been alive, I’ve never seen this rain, I’ve never seen or experienced boiling water falling from the clouds in the sky. In a way, I wished I had. I never would’ve thought my wish would be fulfilled so soon.

I’ve never seen the water rivers either, only the flowing lava rivers, some even flowing through the towns that had been developed long time ago within their paths of destruction.

I was curious about those cities that I could not see, and I decided to fly further into the hot desert. There were no abandoned cities, no ruined castles. Until, I flew high enough, so high I had hard time breathing, I saw the mountain with the city under it, and I noticed the mountain did not have a peak at the top. I flew in, and I found black, cracked floor, with a big city covered in sand sitting on it. I’ve only ever read about it in the books, but the surface looked like obsidian that had formed from the Lava that cooled down.

The City however, was what interested me. There were peaks of towers and roofs of buildings sticking out of the sand. I was flying then, my wings spread high, and as I flew by, some of the sand shifted with the wind.

I tried to swing my wings harder, and the sand moved, seemingly barely moved in last decade, or a century, but it was not enough. I decided to come there every week, to try to move the sand enough to reach the buildings. It felt like my own mission, like I had something to look forward to, and something to keep me interested.

I flew by, fire enveloping my body, feathers shining on the land living in shadow below me one night, when I noticed a part of a building would not need much more to be uncovered. The wind from my wings was viscous, but fighting time and nature’s overtaking of the area was no easy task. I grit my teeth, pushed my muscles, closed my eyes just to keep swinging the wings, to move the sand.

Until I finally looked again, and a door was uncovered. I’d thought before, I’d wait to uncover a few of them, the whole town if possible, before entering them. I’d have all the time in the world, wouldn’t I? I had nothing else to do, no one to take care of, nowhere else to be.

But met with the opportunity, I did not wish to do anything but enter the building, and see what was inside. I knew, destroyed furniture, moved and broken walls, sand in every free space would be the obvious answers, but I was starting to anticipate a society where everything looked different, where everyone made their houses in a way I’ve never seen before, where stepping inside would transport me into another world.

Maybe I’d been wishing for a portal into a magical realm, where Gods would look upon me and bless me, just like the tales.

No matter what I expected, a change, a sudden transport, a slap in the face, I did not expect what I saw. Moving, a creature living in the space I uncovered, looking at me quite surprised I managed to disturb it.

A sand elemental, or a genasi, or perhaps a different creature looked around, and dropped to the floor, to become sand again. I tried to chase after it, shouting.

“No, wait! Come back, I don’t want to hurt you!” I called out to the empty building, as I looked around. It was tall, taller than it looked outside, and it had furniture affixed to the floor, and… and the walls and the ceiling, as if it did not matter where it was, what mattered was just the way you were looking at it. The runes holding the legs of the furniture were active, I could feel the energy coming out of them.

I flew up, gently, trying not to burn anything, and landed on one of the nailed down wardrobe, and opened it. There was nothing inside. I looked down, and saw nothing was even touched by the fire. I jumped around, examining more furniture, only to find it empty, or unusable, or half broken, but fixed to look neat. I jumped on a particularly small table next, and felt my foot slip, and then my body in the air, falling down the tall tower, and my wings were starting to form, fire spreading along my skin, when I landed abruptly, way too soon before I knew I should, and way too… itchy. Sand held me, and it was my turn to look around in shock.

Eyes quickly found me, and I was put on one of the bigger wardrobes again, as sand formed into a humanoid-looking creature again, standing on the wall as if it was the floor.

The creature had a shape of human, mostly, but it wore no clothes, had no hair, and was missing some details and features of a human. Its skin – was it skin? - seemed to move, as if it was dripping down, or falling, or flowing like lava. It was dark in the building, and while my eyes could adjust and see well enough, it was hard to distinguish details.

I got caught by sand earlier though. This person seemed to be who caught me.

“Hello.” I said, sitting down on the top of the wardrobe properly, and the creature just stared at me. I put my arms forward, partially to inspect whether I’ve been hurt anywhere and whether they are fully in human form, as I had hard time knowing and being aware of what I am, and partially to show them to the being, let it know I was holding nothing and I was not trying to hurt it.

The sound that came out of its mouth – if it did come from there – sounded like someone who’s lost their voice, a shout wrapped around in a whisper, dry and scratchy. I turned my hand to how my palm up, inviting, and the creature put its own hand in it, and held my forearm as I held its. It was sand no doubt, cold and running, as I felt it scratch my skin. The room was getting darker and darker, as the light outside faded, and night was looming.

Can I come again tomorrow?” I asked, letting go of their hand. I rolled my shoulders, stretching my neck and arms as I was preparing to fly to the tower again. It only stared, perhaps not knowing how to answer, but I could not even know if it understood me at all, so I decided I would come anyway.

The next day, the Buried City seemed to be uncovering itself. I flew to where I assumed I’d see the one building I managed to get free last time, and found many other tall, but also wide and short buildings around it, sand still stuck in crevices, but visible nonetheless.

I flew by, eyes sharp, until I noticed movement. In excitement, and more importantly lack of control over my forms still, I flew down, and long before it was safe, I transformed, and landed near a building, my legs making noises I’ve never heard bones do, and my spine moving as if it was not attached, I landed, then immediately fell to the floor in pain, and screams louder than any human should produce.

Pain, sharp and cutting, was piercing through my back, my legs, my head about to burst before it started to fade – as if my legs straightened, and my spine collected itself, and finally, when I opened my eyes, I was taller than before, and looking down, I could only see fire, and burning bright feathers moving absently.

his form could heal me. I spread my wings, then wrapped them around my body, enveloping it completely with the massive wingspan I grew, and the fire burned hot, and I felt right again. I’ve never simply existed in this form, I realized. I always jumped and turned into a bird when I knew I’d fly, and I would fly down to prey and attack it with the sharp beak, but I’ve never eaten as the bird before. I realized I could really just stand. But I did not want to. Slowly, I dragged my wings across the body, and in the sparks and ash, my talons turned back into my legs, and my wings dissipated into the air in hot spark and my hands were my hands again. I touched my face, to feel it, and reached up to my head, which never had anything on it before, to feel sharp burn of fire.

It could not hurt me, but the hot feeling of it and the sharpness of the flames still felt real against my skin. The flames cleared my eyes, and when I looked around they were everywhere. I was surrounded, and the sand under me became lava, and I stood on it.

In front of me, a terrible devil stood. Her skin was dark, her long blonde hair flew as if made of fire, her bright green eyes stared at me, her horns were magnificent and glorious. She held a sword, bigger than I’ve ever seen. She herself was bigger than anyone I’ve ever seen, like a dragon of fire. Her arms had shackles on them, and chains holding them apart. She did not look in pain, in fact, she looked like she was waiting, contemplating, never afraid of not being freed.

“Child,” she said, and her voice resonated through my entire body, setting it ablaze. “Come.”

I was the bird, I was the fire falcon, the flame eagle, the predator and the attacker. I flew, and from my mouth, blast of hot sparks flew out, and the chains melted into puddle of silvery iron. She flexed her arms, finally free, and took the sword out of the ground, as it set ablaze.

She swung it, and all the chains that I have not seen cracked, and fell apart. I hovered near her, flying in circles, looking. I was as small as a raven next to her, until she extended her arm, and I landed in it.

Without blink, without realization, without any time passing, I was standing, in my human form again, and she was standing next to me, holding my hand. She was taller than me, even in form that seemed to be her regular size, and I looked at her properly. The three scars, the scorching red and blue armor, the horns, it confused me, and yet I found it so essentially familiar. I could only think of one thing.

She looked at me confused. Her hand reached for my neck, and moved to my jaw, and held my head. “I take care of everyone. But I am not the one you are thinking of, Liv.”

She called me by that name. I realized, I never wanted to be called any other name. Her other hand reached for me as well, and she pulled me closer, into a kiss I expected to be burning, scorching, flaming hot, and yet was so, so cold, it felt like my entire head would freeze.

She was so warm, so hot on my entire body, I started to feel cold, started to feel like my limbs would chill and fall off, and she embraced me for so long, I found the comfort in it.

The Buried City would no longer be buried after that. With my new sword of flame, and under my iron hand, the sand became obedient. With the Goddess’ blessing, I would turn it into Asjabrenna, the fire protected by the Goddess, as the Queen of Muspellheim.

LIV

she/her/hers

LIV is a phoenix that had lived in Muspellheim for centuries, each time she is reborn she had forgotten her previous life. She's a Dragon Disciple based on Arcane Trickster Rogue, and Warlock of the Hexblade and Archdevil Chained Goddess, Queen of Muspellheim, Hand of the Goddess, Leader of Spark of Creation.

She was born all alone, with a mysterious stranger helping her, whose name or identity she never found out. (The players did though) When she was old enough, she started investigating about her life, about her past, and people kept recognizing her, but have vowed to not tell her about her past.

She found out about the Goddess, and found a priest willing to show her what the Eternally Flaming Ice is. She saw the the depiction of the Goddess, and was compelled to explore the world more to find her. She found a tower in the sand dunes, and found many pictures of herself, always looking slightly wrong or different. She explored ruined Cities under the sand for many days, as well as visited the priest to learn how to read and about the Goddess more.

She read about the realm and its beauty from diaries that she found in the tower, from her previous incarnations. She searched for the described places, and could only find sand covered, buried ruins. She, however, flying as high as she could, noticed the big volcano up north-west of her tower, had its peak missing, and flew inside. She found another buried City, however, this one had sand elementals that interacted with her.

After a terrible fall, her bones healing through her phoenix powers, she was taken to a liminal space, a vision with the Goddess, whom she freed from Surtr's chains, and she was given a blade, and powers.

She turned the City in the Volcano into her new Capital, Asjabrenna, and established a maze under it.